Journey Day 83

Ok, so I need to have a moment of complete honesty with you, whoever you are that may read this. I am having one of those nights, one of the nights where nothing feels right, and everything hurts. Some my own hurt and some of it is hurt for all the one's I hold dear. Their pain becomes my pain, and seeing them hurt makes my own heart hurt. These are the people I love, and they are in pain. All of it feels so unfair. People that have been through so much just in the past few months, are bombarded with more, and I can't help but ask, why God? Why? Why would you allow them to hurt this way, over and over again? They love you Lord, and they seek you, and yet still you allow these things to happen? You allow their hearts to hurt? It doesn't seem fair, and it doesn't seem right. I've been trying so hard to seek you God, and do what would be right in Your eyes, but my heart hurts too. And although my heart hurts, I still know that God is good no matter what, and I am trusting his goodness, and love! Today I listened to "How He Loves" by John Mark Mcmillan, and it has brought me an immense about of peace, just reminding myself that God loves me in the hard times, not despite them!

How He Loves

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree
Bending beneath
The weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these
Afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize how beautiful you are
And how great your afflictions for me

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

We are his portion
And he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
He loves us

Oh how he loves us so
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so

Yea He loves us
Oh how

I thought about you
The day Stephen died
And you met me between my breaking
I know that I still love you God
Despite the agony
See people they want to tell me your cruel
But if Stephen could sing
He'd say its not true
Cause your good