Journey Day 66

Lately I have been praying a very scary prayer. I keep praying that God will humble me, that he will teach me how to be humble. Why is that a scary prayer you ask? Because sometimes when we ask God to do the tough things in our life, getting to that point is hard and sometimes painful. Sometimes it means that we are going to have to see our flaws and mistakes more than usual, to remind us that they are there. It's so easy for me to get caught up in the high of my relationship with God, that I often forget how flawed I am. It is then that I need the reminder that I am completely imperfect, to be reminded that no matter how close I get to God, I still do stupid things, and sin. I am far from perfect, and I think that being humbled is being reminded of that very fact. I looked up the word humble on dictionary.com, and one of the verb meanings is "To make meek; to humble one's heart". That is exactly what I want to be; meek. I need to become more, and he has to become less. Two synonyms of meek are calm and soft. When approaching even the most confrontational situation I want to be calm and soft so that people will see that I am humble. I know that I am often wrong, and I want to see how wrong I am. I never want to be blind to my part in a problem. And that is what I am trying to work on. I'm will not put up a front, right now I feel a little discouraged, because I feel like despite my best effort, I'm still falling so short of God's calling for my life, but that thought is pushing me to read His word more, and spend more time with him, and talking with him. I know that the only way I will ever get closer to Him is by spending time with Him, and getting to know Him, and His requirements for my life by the reading of his word. This growth is painful, and difficult, but at the same time it's beautiful and encouraging. Growth is just one more important part of my journey, although it's difficult, I know that the ends are worth the means, and I pray that God will continue to grow me, even when it hurts! I love the mountaintops, but I want God to use the valleys too!