Journey Day 187

Somewhere along the line, during my 3 years at school I became a cynic. when I say I became a cynic, I mean That I lost faith in my fellow believers and in their authenticity. It appeared that so many Christians would say one thing, but their life would reflect something completely different. But then tonight at Winterfest the speaker did his usual altar call, challenging the kids to allow Jesus to rescue them. what a simple yet wonderful concept! to be humble before our Savior, and be rescued by Him! Typically I see the altar call as a joke. An excuse for peiple to bring the attention to themselves as they "rededicate" their life to Christ, but in that moment it was like God was saying "Sarah these kids are desiring to be close to me right now, maybe it won't last forever but in this moment they want nothing more then to be close to me. Is your walk with me so perfect that you can criticize their's?" And as students poured up the stairs to pray with their leaders, I was overwhelmed with how powerful and loving my God is! The rescuer of our souls is so passionate about us that He stirs our heats to draw close to Him. My cynicism went out the door, and my heart overflowed with joy for these followers of God! I can't expect every person that steps up during an altar call to be completely genuine, but I can believe that my God can use altar calls and christian concerts to bring His children close to him! Pray for the thousands of kids and adults that accepted Christ tonight! alone they can't do it, but with the help of God and our prayers,their faith can be genuine! : ) Bye, bye cynicism and hello hope!

Journey Day 186

Today started Winterfest, and I am volunteering for it. It was fun, but it starts a very exhausting 3 days!! I'm  exhausted so I'm going to make this a very short blog. Aka this is it. So good night and Happy New Years Eve... in advance! Goodnight : )

Journey Day 185

It's Always Been You by Christ August

It's always been you
From the day that I saw You
From a heart that was broken 
I was changed into something brand new 

Like a butterfly learning
How to use my wings to fly like the wind
I gotta make it home again

It's always been you
Seeing deeper than the surface
With a smile 
You demolish all my walls
You can always break through

To the heart of the matter
No matter what I try to do 
When I hide from the Sun 
You come and change my point of view 

And I'm sorry for the things I've done
When you ran to me I turn to run 
But you were waiting when I came undone 
And needed something to hold on to 

'Cause it's always been you 
In the heat of the moment 
When the pain was so real 
And the scars on my heart were still wounds

I gotta stop hiding
From the one thing that's left to do
I know what I gotta do

And I'm sorry for the things I've done 
When you ran to me, I turned to run 
But were waiting when I came undone 
And needed something to hold onto
It's always been you 


I wake up, I wake up 
To the morning light, to your morning light 
I wake up, I wake up
'Cause you shine so bright 

I'm sorry for the things I've done
When you ran to me, I turned to run 
Yeah you were waiting, you were waiting

And I'm sorry for the things I've done 
When you ran to me, I turned to run
But you were waiting when I came undone 
You gave me something to hold onto 

Yeah it's always been you
Oh, it's always been you
Oh, it's always been you

Journey Day 184

3 words. Booty. God. Booty. What does that mean you ask? It's when a person lives their life without thinking about God, then throws a few God moments in there, and then going right back to your everyday life. I know that I am guilty of this CONSTANTLY! I give God a small section of my life, but refuse to give him the whole thing. I don't let Him be my whole life. In the words of Jon Acuff, I "booty God booty, God". Why would I not give God my everything? Why would I try to hold anything back? I think it's because I like to think I have control of my life, but the truth is God is the one in control, and I need to let  God's peace fill my life. Not just some moments in my day, but every single moment and every single aspect! For more on "Booty God Booty" you should watch this Jon Acuff clip... it's 27 minutes, and it's worth every second. Be encouraged, be uplifted, and don't live your life with "booty God booty"! PEACE!

Journey Day 183

This my prayer for this coming year.

I pray that I will draw closer to God, closer then ever! I pray that I will learn new things about who He is, and that my love for Him will consume every aspect of my life. I pray that He will use my time of singleness in new and exciting ways. I pray that I will grow closer to all my amazing friends, they have been such a blessing this past year, and I pray that this year I can be a blessing to them! I pray that my relationship with my family will deepen, and that my love for them and will continue to grow. I pray that I will be able to concentrate on my studies this semester, and that I will gain knowledge and understanding of my major. I pray that this year I will be changed by my relationship with God, and that I will be able to be used by Him in every aspect. I want to be an encourager, and I pray that this year God will give me lenses where I will see people as He sees them. I know that I will fall short of His glory, but ultimately I pray that this time next year I will be closer to the creator of the universe then I am right now. I pray that I will be always growing and changing into a woman after His own heart, a woman of character. I pray that this is a year of heavenly conviction, and I pray that I will get share this year with all of you! : )

What's your prayer for this coming year?

Journey Day 182

So let me share my small miracle with you. I hate snow; I hate driving in it, I hate walking in it, I hate shoveling, but I do like to look at it. Today I had to drive back to my college town to clean/move out of my apartment, and do my CSER (christian service). I looked at the weather report last night and it showed that it was going to start snowing at 3 am and continue until 1pm on Monday. The minute I read it my heart sank into my stomach and I automatically went into worry mode. ( That seems to be my default! ) I planned to leave before church so that I could leave before the ground was completely covered in the powdery white stuff. I fell asleep praying that God would stop the snow, or at least stop it until I left the state. When I opened my eyes this morning, I leaped up to the window and what do you know... NO SNOW! I checked the forecast, and it had changed from snow all day to the snow not starting until 4pm! So I was able to go to church, and drove through all of Pennsylvania without hitting any snow, and then I drove through Maryland and NO SNOW, and then West Virginia and what do you know, NO SNOW and then finally Virginia and I hit practically NO SNOW! It was my day after Christmas miracle ; ) God protected me and my tiny car, and led me through each state. I barely missed a blizzard in each state, and it was all because God had His hand over me, and kept the snow from me! It was fantastic! It may seem small to you, but to me it was just further proof of God's hands in my life! : ) What a fantastic day!

Journey Day 181

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!

God bless you and those you love!!!

Journey Day 180

Merry Christmas Eve/ Christmas... it's a little late on Christmas eve, but I'm still going to post on Christmas so we'll stick with MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE! : )

My house is a bundle of crazy on Christmas Eve! My grandparents came along with my uncle and his son (aka my cousin). We eat a delicious dinner, and then we go to church for the Christmas Eve show, then we come home for dessert and we open one present. But to add a bit more chaos, after church tonight my dad's friend and his family joined us for dessert. It was certainly fun, but it was also chaotic! We ended the night stuffing stockings for tomorrow. My mom always manages to find tons of trinkets to fill our stockings! Here is a picture of our kitchen table covered in supplies! 

So Merry Christmas Eve everyone!! Remember the reason for the season, as cliche as that sounds! Because God gave us the ultimate gift we are able to have eternal life in heaven, with Him! Don't take this amazing gift lightly and tomorrow remember how much you are loved by the savior of the world! So much that He sent His only son knowing from the very beginning that He would have to die. And Jesus loves us so much that He came to earth, and lived His life knowing that someday He would have to die, and He did it willingly. When you don't feel loved by anyone else, remember JESUS LOVES YOU!

Journey Day 179

So I love the investigation discovery channel. It's basically the crime channel, and it's like real life law and order. It has some really interesting shows, one of which being " Hookers:Saved on the Strip ". It's not nearly as scandalous as it sounds. It's a show about a woman who was a hooker on the Las Vegas strip for about 16 years. She became a Christian, and started an organization called "Hookers for Jesus". They reach prostitutes on the strip, by providing them with a save place to live and rehabilitate. The founder, Annie Lobert, is an incredible christian woman, who shows the love of Christ to those that need it the most. These women NEED Jesus, and she brings Him to them by loving on them, and giving them a non judgmental place to blossom. Ms Lobert is a living, breathing example of Jesus, she doesn't just claim to love God, she LIVES it! It certainly challenges me to put action behind my claim of faith. What a beautiful example of love! James 2:14-17 says, "What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed." but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, by faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead." If we say we believe in Christ, in His promises, in His love, and in His power, but we do not live His word, or faith is dead. I don't know about you but I don't want dead faith! I want to live a live that reflects the word of God, just like Annie Lobert does. I want to love the least reached, because I know my God has come for the sick and imperfect, not for the well, or the seemingly "perfect". You should go to her website and check out the cause! And if you have the ID channel, check out her show!  : )

Journey Day 178

Do you know what unconditional love looks like? I do. I was shown this type of love through my 6 six year old brother. We adopted our foster baby last Friday, and my little brother kept telling me, "Sarah we have to pay for Ethan, we have to pay for Ethan. I'm going to pay for him!" And I would just smile and say  "Ok Sammy! You can pay for Ethan!" I just thought it was cute that he thought he had to pay for him. So the day of adoption came, and we were all getting in the car to head to the court house and Sammy cried out, "I forgot my money!" So he ran inside to get it, and came out to the car with a little box. We drove to the court house, and managed to get our entire family, plus grandparents and my great aunt, up to the adoption court room. The judge was so kind, and friendly. It was an incredibly special event, made even more special by what my little brother showed me right before the proceedings began. He sat next to me and tapped my shoulder, and said "Sarah I'm going to pay for Ethan! I've been saving all my allowance, and I'm going to pay for him." And at that moment he opened up his small box, and it contained 5s, and 10s, and plenty of quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies. My six year old brother loved our Ethan SO much that he saved every single cent that got for allowance so that he could make Ethan a part of our family. It got me all choked up, and warmed my heart. My little six year old brother knows what love really is. It's being willing to sacrifice the things that are the hardest to let go of for the person you love. I'm so glad my brother learned this lesson at such a young age! Who would have thought my baby brother could have taught his big sister a lesson? What a blessing he is! I'll never forget that box of money, and my brother's willing and loving heart.

If you look closely you can see the little box in Sammy's hands, which contains the treasure that he was willing to give up for his baby brother : )

Journey Day 177

So I got an itunes gift card last night, and I decided to download some Kari Jobe, and I downloaded this one song called Singing Over Me, and it is AMAZING!! Read the lyrics and enjoy : )

Singing Over Me

When I waited so long, when my tears were my song
With my hope nearly gone You held me Lord
To believe in the face of the dry, weary place
When you felt far away God, You held me God

Oh, there is freedom in surrender
Oh, I know it

Your songs have never stopped
You've been singing, always singing over me
Your words are still enough 
And you're singing, always singing over me

The chaos in the cause teaching me to see Lord
The beauty in the storm so I believe 
When I see through your eyes through the testing of time
Every cloud silverlined cause you're with me

Oh, there is freedom in surrender
Oh, I know it

Your songs have never stopped
You've been singing, always singing over me
Your words are still enough 
And You're singing

Give me faith
Give me strength enough to wait
To stand in faith
And listen for, listen for Your melody

Your songs have never stopped
Your songs have never stopped

Your songs have never stopped
You've been singing, always singing over me
Your words are still enough
And you're singing, singing over me

Your songs have never stopped
You've been singing, always singing over me
Your words are still enough
And you're singing, always singing over me
Always singing over me, always singing over me
Always singing over me

Journey Day 176

The meantime... what is the meantime? The meantime is the time period in our lives that we consider to be transitional. For example "I want to be married with 8 kids, but in the meantime I'm going to go to college and get a job." or "I want to be a missionary in the Sudan, but in the meantime I'm going to work and attend church." In our minds the meantime is just a time waster to get us to where we really want to be. HOWEVER we are missing the beauty of this time in our lives. The time between when we are young, and when we are where we want to be, but during this time we grow the most and transform into who God has us to be. This time is SO incredibly key! So in the meantime, read your bible, pray continually, seek God's face every moment, go overseas, help your downcast brother or sister, road trip across country, read new books, and learn new skills. Don't think of the "meantime" as a filler, think of it as an amazing part of our journey!!

Journey Day 175

Another day of apartment searching! I'm trying really hard not to stress it but every once in a while it will creep in! SO to keep that from happening I'm going to remember 5 reasons why my life is awesome! I am blessed, and one little hitch means nothing in the grand scheme of things : ) When I reflect on my blessings, it's easier to forget the difficulties!

1. My family was able to adopt a little boy that feels just like any of my other siblings, and I love him just as much!

2. I have awesome, supportive parents that love me unconditionally! (Even when I don't deserve it)

3. I have an awesome God who works in incredible ways! He is mighty to save, He rejoices over ME with singing, and He takes GREAT delight in me! How amazing!

4. I have a great job! I work for the school I attend, and it gives me the opportunity to make connections and get schoolwork done while working! It's such an amazing job and an incredible blessing!

5. I have caring friends that always have my back, and listen to me when I need someone to talk to!

Journey Day 174

This song sums up how I feel about today...

"Your Love is a Song" by Switchfoot

Yeah

I hear you breathing in
Another day begins
The stars are falling out
My dreams are fading now, fading out 

I've been keeping my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my eyes wide open

Your love is a symphony 
All around me 
Running through me 
Your love is a melody 
Underneath me 
Running to me 

Oh, Your love is a song

The dawn is fire bright
Against the city lights
The clouds are glowing now
The moon is blacking out, is blacking out

So I've been keeping my mind wide open
I've been keeping my mind wide open, yeah

Your love is a symphony 
All around me
Running through me
Your love is a melody
Underneath me
Running to me

Oh, your love is a song
your love is a song
Oh, your love is a song
Your love is strong

With my eyes wide open
I've got my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my hopes unbroken, yeah

Your love is a symphony
All around me
Running through me
Your love is a symphony
Underneath  me
Running to me

Your love is a song 
Yeah, yeah 
Your love is a remedy 
Oh your love is a song

Journey Day 173

It was adoption day!! It was such an incredible experience! I am convinced that he was born to be a part of our family, he may not be flesh and blood but he IS my brother. In other news I have no apartment to live in... yet! But I am confident that God is going to come through, just like he has come through every other time! It's just crunch time right now. I need to find somewhere to live ASAP! I'm starting to realize I have to depend on God and believe that He is going to come through for me!! So tonight... although I am stressed, I know that God has got my back absolutely!!

Journey Day 172

So today I was getting mad at my sister, and all the sudden it hit me, "submit". And so I adjusted my attitude and took a step back! I really really hope that I can keep that attitude throughout my whole stay at home! Tomorrow we are adopting my baby brother, and I'm so excited!! He has been a part of my family for 2.5 years and now it will be officially official! I can't wait! : ) Just a short post tonight, we drove overnight to get home before we got snowed in and so I haven't had much sleep! Time for bed, goodnight my blogging friends!

Journey Day 171

I started reading this book called "The Shack" by William P. Young. It's such an amazing book and it is challenging me and opening my eyes to so many things I did not know about God. One such thing is about submission. It talks about how submission isn't about being someone's slave, it's about love! "Submission is not about authority and it is not obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect." When you love someone and when you respect them you desire to submit to them. It just is a part of the overflow of love. When I think of submission I think of doing whatever someone tells me to do, I think of it as a duty not as a privilege, but when I really think about it, I can see submission as something beautiful. I can see it as an honor. When everyone submits to the people they love, beautiful relationships develop. Relationships where we are actually looking out for another's best interest bloom, and unconditional love is rampant! It isn't just one submitting to another, and the other person takes advantage of it. It's a mutual submission, and a mutual love. And the most amazing part is that God doesn't just expect us to submit to him, but in a way He submits to us because He wants us to be a part of Him and a part of His plan. It's the mutual submission that is the cornerstone of true, deep, unconditional love! To submit, is to love. And if the other person really loves you, they won't abuse your submission, and in fact they will submit to you too. So this next week, while I'm at home, my goal is to submit to each member of my family. No matter what that requires, I want to submit to them because I love them! And maybe when I submit to them, it will inspire them to do the same! I want to see how submission can change our relationships, and how this one small change will begin to transform my relationship with God!

Journey Day 170

Today is the last name of the fall semester!! Wooohoooo! I survived! I can't believe it will be my second semester of my junior year come January! It has been an excellent semester if I do say so myself. It has had it's ups and downs, but overall it will be one for the books! This semester I grew closer with my awesome group of friends, worked hard in school, turned 21, had the best job I've had yet, and most importantly grew closer to God. Like I said the semester has had it's ups and down, mountain tops and valleys, but the whole time God was there and God was a part of it. It's been a semester I'll never forget. So here's to next semester, and to what God will do with it!!

Journey Day 169

Today I am determined to be content in all of my circumstances. Today I am determined to embrace my life, even if that simply means taking a nap or going for a walk in my apartment complex. Today I refuse to be sad, or to even let my heart ache. Today I will love every part of my life, the good the bad and the ugly. And today I can do all of that because God loves ME.  He doesn't care where I've been, or what I've done, He has forgiven me my past and gifted me a future. How easily I lose sight of that truth and how quickly I get consumed by what's going "wrong". All of the things that seem SO important now are so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I was not put on this earth to pout, or to hate others. Of this I am sure. I was put on this earth share the love that my Jesus provides and to love others. I know that sounds super "religious", but I want everyone I know to have the peace that God can provide them, and I know that is why I am here. I am certainly not perfect, and I make tons of mistakes, but Jesus died on the cross to cover those sins so that I can move forward a new creation. There is a verse in Philippians 4 that describes exactly where I want to be! Paul writes, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." That is my desire, to be content no matter what, to know what a struggle feels like, but be content despite it. Paul finishes it off with, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." I can be content not matter what not because of how awesome I am or how awesome my life is, but because of how awesome GOD is! He will give me the strength and peace to not just face but embrace my day!

Journey Day 168

This was an extremely mentally exhausting weekend, and it will be an extremely exhausting week. SO overall I'm just exhausted. As I type this I am on the brink of tears; I say this not to throw myself a pity party, but to emphasize how exhausted I really am. At this point nothing sounds better than curling up in bed with my puppy and watching hulu. That sounds so fantastic right now. So that is what I am doing, but I'm adding biology into the mix. So ordinarily I would say that Katy Perry is crazy, but her song "Firework" has some truth to it. It basically talks about how you are stronger than you would think, and there is one line that says, "Maybe your reason why, all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads to the perfect road." It's the like saying where God closes a door, He opens a window. I love that God does that. Sometimes when He closes a door everything seems so completely hopeless, but then, seemingly out of the blue God opens a window and it's for the best. The window option works so much better than the door option. I'm learning that God is a God of opportunities and He wants the best for us! So Katy Perry is kookoo for cocoa puffs, but you should go give "Firework" a listen and let God use that song to lift your spirits and encourage you! : )

Journey Day 167

Yesterday I was driving to South Carolina to visit Mary and I was driving as the sun was setting and it was a booootiful scene. I had another one of my car talking sessions with God, and I laid a lot of stuff down at His feet. Five hours and beautiful sun rise and a car ride with my savior was exactly what my aching soul needed. But today a little bit of my funk has crept back in. I hope that it will be short lived, but my heart is just aching a little bit tonight. I'm watching Home Alone, studying, and enjoying the company of some of my dearest friends! Tomorrow I'm hoping for another amazing car ride, where I get to spend sometime with the comforter of my broken heart!

Journey Day 165

Part of this journey of character is learning how to be a Godly woman so that someday, if it is God's will, I can be a Godly wife. Last night I read this article: http://www.boundless.org/girls/pages/GirlsGuide.pdf, and if you skip to page 24 and 25, it talks about modesty and feminity. I think these things are far more important than we give them credit for. To be honest I'm not even sure what it means to be truly feminine... not feminine by the worlds standards, but feminine by God's standards. I think that should be my mission, to discover what Godly feminity is, and to more modest. I think that modesty is more than just the way you dress. It's also how much of yourself you give away emotionally and physically. I have to really really work on my emotional modesty too. This gives me something new to work on, something to improve, and is just one small part of my journey!!

Journey Day 164

So today I finally finished "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan. What an excellent and convicting book! The last chapter was so awesome! It talked about how as God's creation we reflect Him and the only way we can properly do this is by filling our lives with the Holy Spirit, and allowing ourselves to filled by that peace, joy, and love. Have you ever heard that song, "They'll know we are Christians"? The chorus goes, "They'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love. They will know we are Christians by our love." That means allowing the Holy Spirit to fill up every empty space in you so that when people look at you they will see Christ... and they will know who we represent by the way we love them! When people look at your life are they touched by your love? Is your joy uncontainable and your peace contagious? To be honest all of that doesn't always apply to me. I want it to, truly I do, but sometimes I have a hard time loving some people, and sometimes joy is hard to come by and I worry about stupid things like it's my job. BUT I can hold close to the promise that when I turn to the Spirit, God will fill me, and I will be kind, and loving, and have that peace that passes all understanding, but not by my own power, but because God is in control of my spirit!

Journey Day 163

So part of my duties at The Muse 8:30 is editing and distributing flyers for our shows. I designed my first flyer on Sunday using the picture the artist sent us with his name on it, along with photo shop! It isn't excellent, but it is the first I've done and I am proud of myself for getting it done! I'm trying to be really on top of everything, I want my character to be reflected in my work ethic! I am slowly starting to come out of my funk, which is an excellent feeling! I feel my motivation coming back, and my joy coming back. I'm not completely on the other side yet, but I'm on my way! : )

"He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with joy."- Job 8:21

Journey Day 162

Beautiful, Beautiful by Francesca Battestelli 


Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace

(Chorus)Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful

Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

(Chorus)

I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace

(Chorus)

Journey Day 161

The past few weeks I have been in a funk. There is no real cause, and no real reason for it, it just is. But today has been a good remedy for that. I woke up feeling pretty motivated for a change, and when that happens I clean. So thus I now have a very very clean kitchen, and I started packing up all my stuff to move. Then slowly the motivation started to wear off, and as I was driving to work I was starting to feel the funk again, but then there was a short devotion on the christian radio station I listen to. It talked about how God is not a microwave. And it talked about how God is there for us, and just because He doesn't answer our prayers at lightning speed, doesn't mean He won't ever answer them! It was just what I needed to hear. I'm beginning to see that my problem isn't that I don't trust that God will answer my prayers... it's that when He doesn't answer them right away I begin to lose hope, and get discouraged. God is not a microwave... sometimes He is a slow cooker, and His perfect will for my life takes time. When you think about it something made in a conventional oven, or a slow cooker takes so much better than something we cook in a microwave, and in the same way I know that my life will be better because I am being forced to take things slow. Maybe to you this is a weird analogy, but to me it makes perfect sense : )

Journey Day 160

Wow. 160 days on my journey. It feels like it's just flown by, yet at the same time 160 days ago feels like forever ago. So much has changed in 160 short days. Some good and some heartbreaking, but all of them have grown me. And now it's december 4th and in 21 days it will be CHRISTMAS! woohooooo! This month I really want to concentrate on what Christmas means. It is so much more than just presents and holiday music and candy canes and classic Christmas music. Christmas is a day that celebrates the day the savior of the world was born. We are called to remember the day that Christ was born in a manger. With all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season it's so easy to forget the real reason we celebrate. SO this year I will not forget, this year I will make Jesus the focus of my season. Will you do this with me? Will you remember Jesus this year, and remember all He's done for you?

Journey Day 159

So I was thinking that maybe next semester I could start some kind of prayer meeting. I tried to start something like that earlier this semester, but I was discouraged by a lack of interest. But this year God has really been improving my follow-through on things, so this time I will actually stick to it, whether 2 people come, or 10 people come. God cares about quality, not quantity so now matter how many people come if the two people that show up are really meeting with God, isn't that really all that matters? I want to give people the opportunity to fellowship with one another, and also really KNOW God. Let's face it, life isn't always going to be filled with candy, and flowers, and fluffy bunnies... sometimes life is just going to be hard, and in those times it's so important to have people on your side lifting you up in prayer. That is what I want. I want people to not just have a group of friends, but a family of believers that are on their side, seeking God with them. I'm going to keep praying about it, and see where God leads.

Journey Day 158

I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I tend to put God in a box. It's like I forget He is all powerful, and wonderful, and mighty, and I think that He will be incapable of meeting my greatest needs and desires. Jon Acuff wrote this on his blog Stuff Christians Like:


"On a random Monday, I asked readers to help me raise $30,000 and that honestly made me nervous.It’s weird to ask for money. It changes your intimacy levels. It’s like actually holding hands during couples skate at Roller Kingdom in Hudson, Massachusetts. Sure, you might skate around in circles with Stacy Valentino listening to Bobby Brown’s “Tender Roni,” but holding hands is a whole nother level. (That example got really specific and 7th gradery.)But it’s true, asking for money is awkward, which is why pastors do the money disclaimer when they preach. They start their sermon by saying, “I never normally preach about money, I never preach about tithing, except today.” And that’s always the Sunday your neighbor or coworker finally agreed to come to church with you. Your friend always comes on the money Sunday or the day the mime group, “Gloves of Love” is there to perform.So I was anxious about asking for money. And I honestly thought it would take us 6 weeks to raise $30,000. But if you’ve read this site for a while, you know that was not the case.We raised all $30,000 in a matter of 18 hours. It took us less than a day to complete the entire campaign and I realized I had been like McRae with the number 26.
Here’s what I essentially said to God before the project started:
'God, you are massive. You are huge. You made the universe and created all space and time. You are without end! But, you are slightly less big than $30,000. You’re like a really solid $29,000 God. And that’s awesome. I mean that’s pretty good. I think you’re almost all powerful, you’re just not $30,000 powerful.' "

Just like me, he put God in a box. He told Him, sure I think you are all powerful... just not quite powerful enough. He made God a $29,000 God... when in reality my God is the full $30,000... and He proved it by stirring the hearts of people to raise that money in only 18 hours! We think, sure God I trust that you can come through on this financial crisis in my life... but I'm going to freak out anyway. Or sure God I trust that when the time is right you'll bring the right person into my life... but I'm going to be constantly on the prowl anyways because I don't think you know who I'm REALLY looking for. My life is full of "I trust you but...", it seems that I am intent on limiting what my God can do by not having the faith that my God, the ruler of the world, has got my back. It's not on purpose, I swear! But my problem is I don't see how big God is. My God is so big that he doesn't dwell on the earth, He sent His spirit to do that. My God is so big that He rose His son from the dead. And my God is big enough to provide for my financial difficulties, and He is big enough to guide my every step, and He is big enough to work in enormous ways in my life. Somewhere along the line I made God fun-sized... but in reality He is King sized....He is the real deal, capable of doing whatever He pleases. And you know what? I am SO very thankful for that! I am thankful for a God that is "bigger than our biggest dreams", He is so big, that I can hardly begin to comprehend it. So on this chilly December morning remember that we serve a great big God, who can do whatever He wants in our lives, and He is more than capable of tackling our greatest challenge in a way that will blow our mind. I know that today that is something I will need to remember! : )

Journey Day 157

Today this blog spoke straight to my heart...

The Soft-X

“ 'I know, my son, I know. I know, my daughter, I know. That thing you wanted is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. I know this hurts. I know this stings. I know you feel like I am distant or not aware of where you are and who hurt you and what you think life was supposed to be like. I know in moments like this you doubt that I can count the hairs on your head or have your best in mind. But please, I am not done. I have barely started to reveal your life to you. I am the God who satisfies your desires with good things. That is me! And when it comes to your hopes and your fears and your dreams, I know, my son, I know.' "

Journey Day 156

Another rainy day, another day of school, another day closer to the end of the semester. Its not that life is bad, life is good. In fact I would say great. But there just isn't too much going on. I'm doing quite a bit for the Muse Eight-Thirty which is exciting! I'm really enjoying it so far, and I'm thinking maybe PR for non profits is where God is leading me. I'm really looking forward to Friday, because I have an event at the Muse, and I'm also hanging out with some friends that I don't often get to spend time with! But for now it's time for bed. Goodnight blogging world! : )

Journey Day 155

I was sitting at home, pondering what the verse of the week could be, and I thought, what is something I am struggling with right now? And I realized that right now I am struggling with just being content with where I am in my friendships, and circumstances. More or less I am struggling with living in the present, not the future. So I typed, "content" into the bible gateway search, and although it came up with a bunch of great ones (it is the bible after all), Hebrews 13:5 stuck out the most. It says, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.' " I'm not so much struggling with the love of money, but with remembering that God will never leave me, and never forsake me. I must be content with what I have, and where I am. I need to learn to live in the present, not in the past, and not in the future. Maybe you struggle with that too. Remember that God is always on your side. Remember to live in the here and now and not long for the past or the future. Be content. 

"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past."

Journey Day 154

Today=a LONG day!! I started the day waking up at 7:30 am, and finished packing up my stuff for the long ride home. Then I picked up a friend, and we hit the road, after 7 and half hours of driving and traffic I am home sweet home... well almost, I am sitting at work until 2 am, and then I will FINALLY be home sweet home. Luckily work is pretty slow, which should make for a pretty chill night, just what I need after a drive like today. I'm just mentally fried. But I know that my God is faithful even in the small things, and He will give me the energy I need to get through tonight. I think right now I'm kind of going through a bit of a plateau, I don't feel far from God, but I don't feel super close to Him either. I know that is something I can change, I think I have just gotten lazy. Let's be honest it takes work to keep up your relationship with God, and during Thanksgiving break I was so busy relaxing, that I didn't invest time in my relationship with God. When this happens, it is reflected in my personal life. I feel distant from people and myself, things seem drearier and less meaningful. I know that I need to start taking steps towards spending more time in prayer, and in God's word, and less time on facebook, and hulu. I've discovered that when my relationship with the creator is where it needs to be, everything else just falls into place.

Journey Day 153

Yes You Have, by Leeland

Every tree and and every stone
Every rushing wind that moans
They sing Your praise
My God, I'll sing Your praise.

Every star and open sky
Tell of Your glory divine
They shout Your praise
They shout Your praise, yeah

You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes You have

With Your love You set me free
Three nails gave me liberty
So I'll sing Your praise
My God I'll sing Your praise
Oh, with Your love You forgave my sin
Forgot my past and brought my back again
So I'll sing Your praise
I'll sing Your praise, yeah

You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes You have

BRIDGE
If I ascend into the sky, or hide behind the night
I cannot run Your love is chasing me
If I fall into the sea, Your hand will rescue me
No one will take Your place
Because

This is all for You, yes
This is all for You
You're the King of the world
You're the King of the world
You're the King of the world
You're the King of the world
You're the King of the world
You're the King of the world

You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes You have

You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've stolen my heart
Yes You have
You've wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes You have.

Journey Day 152

Earlier this week I rediscovered one of my favorite CDs of ALL time. It's called The Sound of Melodies by Leeland. I seriously love every single song on the cd, because the lyrics speak right to my heart. They speak of our humanity, how much we need God's grace, and how He willingly bestows it upon us. One of the songs that really speaks to my heart today is Carried to the Table. It's the story of Mephibosheth, a descendent of Jonathan who is the son of Saul. In chapter 4 of 2 Samuel, we find that Saul and Jonathan are both dead, and poor little Mephibosheth (Only 5 years old), has been dropped and is paralyzed by the fall. Since that day, he was hidden away to preserve his life, because the tradition was to kill all the family of the previous king, so that they could not try to have claim to your title. He grew up believing that without a doubt, he would be David's enemy. Little did he know that David WANTED to show kindness to someone from the family of Saul. SO in chapter 9 King David sends for humble Mephibosheth. This is more than a picture of David's kindness. This story is a picture of God's kindness! As human beings we show kindness to those who we think deserve it, but Mephibosheth did not deserve David's kindness, but like God shows us love and grace when we least deserve it, so did David. He brought Mephibosheth to him and said to him, "Fear not; for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table." God does the exact same thing for us, he saves a place for us at his table, even though we have done nothing to deserve it. This song sings of God's grace for us and of David's grace for Mephibosheth.

Carried to the Table by Leeland

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten 
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the king
into the Master's courts
Lifted by the savior
and cradled in His arms

I was carried to table
Seated where I don't belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don't see my brokenness anymore 
When I'm seated at the table of the Lord
I'm carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
Wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup?
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His holy presence 
I am healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

Carried to the table!

Journey Day 151

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! : )

Today is thanksgiving, the day of the year where we all celebrate all that we are thankful for. I know that I am grateful more than just one day a year, but this one day is celebrated all across the United States, and no matter how different we all are we have this one day we are have a commonality. We are all grateful for something. Whether it's a roof over our heads, food on our table, an amazing family, or group of friends, a new job, or the praise of a stable job today we come together around a table, or in spirit to give thanks for all we have. Today among many things I give thanks for the savior of the world, who loves me and extends me grace every single day! I gave thanks for His word that comforts me every single day. I know that I an underserving, but that is the beauty of grace! So thank you Lord Jesus, my Abba, thank You for Your love for me even when I am undeserving. And thank You for every blessing You give me. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.

Journey Day 150

Today I went home. I know I told you that I was already home, but I went to my hometown, in NJ. It was so nice to see everyone. We went to our home church, and it was so amazing to see the people that are my family! So today I am thankful for more than just one thing! Today I am thankful for the family that I chose, and the parents I was born to! I went to the same church from the time I was 9 months old, until I was 16, when my parents moved to Pennsylvania. But the people at church were more than just friends, we all became a family. We were there for each other through everything, and going back there is just like going home. I love those people, and I am so grateful for their continued influence in my life! I am also SO grateful for my loving parents. They are amazing people, who love God, and showed me what it meant to love Jesus. I am continually blessed by their never ending love for me and all my brothers and sisters! I couldn't have picked better parents out myself! : )


"Chance makes our parents, but choices make our friends."

Journey Day 149

3 days till Thanksgiving! I love being home! It's been relaxing, and it's so nice to be away from the stress that is University.  As I type I am sitting in a quiet house, with a cup of coffee, just enjoying the silence. My mom is at a bible study, my dad is at work, and most of my siblings are at school so I am left with an empty house. You have to understand with 7 kids plus my parents and a million pets, this doesn't happen very often. So I have learned to enjoy it. But you know what, when they aren't here, I wish they were. Today I am extra grateful for my little brothers and sisters. They drive me crazy sometimes, but they fill the house with fun and no matter how much we fight I know that they will always be there for me to make me laugh, or stand up for me. No matter what I will always love them, because we aren't just siblings, we are friends.

"Siblings- the definition that comprises love,
strife competition and forever friends."
   -Byron Pulsifer

Journey Day 148

4 Days till Thanksgiving!! The holiday spirit is starting to build, and I can't wait till I can start watching christmas specials, and listen to all my favorite Christmas songs! For the first time in my life, I am completely content with where I am, and I am so grateful that God brought me here! So today I am thankful for my journey. I am thankful for where God has brought me, I am thankful for the people he has brought into my life through the journey, and the peace that I have found. I can't wait to see where God is going to bring me a month, 6 months, and even a year from now. This journey isn't always easy, and sometimes it breaks my heart, but the peace I feel is worth any difficulty. This journey has been such a blessing, and one of the highlights of my year, in fact it turned my year around! SO I am forever grateful for the past 5 months, and I look forward to the next 7! It's been a year of blessing and trial, but when push comes to shove I wouldn't change any of it!

"Peace is a journey of a thousand miles, and it must be taken one step at a time."- Lyndon Johnson

Journey Day 147

So only 5 more days until Thanksgiving! Yummm turkey, mashed potatoes, and the reminder to be thankful for alllll of our blessings! So in honor of this day, for the next five days I will give one thing I am extra thankful for!

Today it's all my friends; past, present and future! My friends have gotten me through heartbreak, encouraged me in my journey, wiped away my tears, and stood by me no matter what! It's such an incredible blessing to have so many great friends! To Mary, Meagan, Leisa, Amber, Kevin, Ryan, Aaron, Ashley, Shara, Leah, David, Calvin, Nicole, Jenna, and all my other amazing friends, THANK YOU! Thank you for all you do for me, and have done for me. I would be lost without you, and I thank God for you everyday! : )

"Friends are like walls. Sometimes you lean on them, and sometimes it's just enough to know they are there."

Journey Day 146

I love being home. My family is crazy and loud and amazing. I think I didn't always used to feel that way, but the older I get the more I love them, and the more I enjoy being around them!! It's been a long but great day, so here is a lovely picture of most of mi familia (Minus my awesome padre) to end my blog post!

Journey Day 144

There are so many amazing verses on trust. Psalm 9:10, "Those who know your name trust in you, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.", and Psalm 13:5, "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation." And then there is Psalm 37:5-6, "Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun." All of these verses tell us how important it is to trust in God! To trust that He knows what's best, to trust that His timing is perfect, and to trust that EVERYTHING is under His control! Today I was missing the past, but I have to trust that God has me right where I am supposed to be. Even though being here is hard sometimes, and I miss the past, I am trusting that God has a plan for my future. I am trusting in the promises of Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save, He takes great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He rejoices over you with singing." and Psalm 143:8, "Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for I entrust You with my life."(verse of the week)

Journey Day 143

Today was a good day. I got to hang out with an old friend, and we had a blast! It was so nice to just spend some time with her, and have fun! I'm learning how to have a balance in my life. How to pursue a close relationship with God, but not take life too seriously. I am learning how to trust God in every single aspect of my life, and it is incredibly freeing! I was thinking about my desire for a relationship, and sure I have that desire, BUT I trust that if God has someone for me, He will bring me to him. For the first time in my life I truly trust that! It took God showing me that he could come through in a big way for me to finally see that I need to trust Him in every single aspect of my life. Tomorrow I will share a verse about trusting God, that I hope will help you remember that you need to trust God with your life too! : ) Good night one and all!

Journey Day 142

There is this song called "Let the Waters Rise" by Mike's Chair, and it's all about trusting God. It's about trusting God when life gets the hardest, and when things seem the most hopeless, but we trust that God is there, and that he has it all under control! I want this song to be the prayer of my heart, and the life that I live.

Let the Waters Rise, by Mike's Chair

Don't know where to begin

Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

Ohhh

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

Ohhh

Journey Day 141

Don't you love those days where God's presence is so undeniable that all you can do is smile in relief? Today was one of those days. I have the tendency to worry a lot. It's so easy for me to get overwhelmed and than it affects my whole day. I get all worked up, and then you know what GOD COMES THROUGH! Why do I continue to doubt this? I need to trust that my God can come through in a big way, He can do whatever He wants, and I need to stop putting Him in a box. Every worry, that seemed so big yesterday, was taken care of today. I had no need to worry, but my problem was I was not trusting God. When will I learn that all I have to do is trust him, and he will be faithful!? It may not always be the answer that I am looking for, sometimes it's going to be the opposite of what I want, but the thing is God will always answer me. This is a constant struggle for me: the need to worry so I can have some "control" over my life. Slowly but surely God is teaching me to trust him, and depend on him, and not worry, because he is in control of every step I take, and everything that happens to me! Nothing happens that He does not allow, and I have to trust that. Do you trust that? Do you trust that no matter what God is in control and He wants the best for your life? Live it and trust it, just like what I am learning to do!

Journey Day 140

So from the very beginning of my journey there has been one friend who has been extremely supportive, and been there for me every step of the way, encouraging me! His name is Kevin. He is a man of many hats, and I am blessed to call him one of my best friends.
This is Kevin:

Kevin is the youth leader/worship leader at a church about an hour away from where we live. He has been doing that for about three years. He is also a supervisor at our school's computer lab... where he is also my boss. You would think two jobs is plenty, but NO there is more. He is also the internship coordinator for NAMB (North American Mission Board), AND he is co-founder of Impact Georgia. And despite his busy life, he still makes time for his friends, and still loves on us and encourages us. Kevin's heart is for people, and his heart is for God. I don't know what I'd do without him and his friendship! For info on Kevin and his ministry, you can read his blog! www.john330.com!! What are you doing reading my blog still?! Go read Kevin's!! : )

Journey Day 139

This week has been incredibly exciting! On Monday I was at my favorite local coffee shop, and I was talking with two of the baristas about the new venue that they had just opened downtown. I made a joke about how I should do the public relations for the owner, and that I'd give him a good deal. Then the more I thought about it, I thought it would be such a great opportunity. I could help them out, and get the new venue's name out there, and then I could also add it to my resume. So I typed up a cover letter, and printed out my resume, and yesterday I talked to the owner, and I am now PR rep for the Muse. I'll be working with the venue's talent booker, and I will be taking care of the facebook, and twitter. I'm also working on some promotional projects! I'm just so excited to get started on this, and see where it takes me, and where it take The Muse. It feels like such an answer to prayer! I had been wondering what to do with my life, where God wanted me to go, and I was worried about my resume not having enough meat to it. And BAM, a door opened! God is so good, and my God answers prayers!

Journey Day 138

Alive Again by Matt Maher

I woke up in darkness
Surrounded by silence
Oh where, oh where have I gone?
I woke to reality Losing its grip on me

Oh where, where have I gone?
'Cause I can see the light
Before I see the sunrise
You called and You shouted

Broke through my deafness
Now I'm breathing in and breathing out
I'm alive again
You shattered my darkness

Washed away my blindness
Now I'm breathing in and breathing out
I'm alive again

Late have I loved You
You waited for me, I searched for You
What took me so long?
I was looking outside
As if Love would ever want to hide
I'm finding I was wrong

'Cause I feel the wind
Before it hits my skin
'Cause I want You,
Yes I want You I need You, and I'll do

Whatever I have to just to get through
'Cause I love You,
Yeah I love You

Journey Day 137

Confession. I talk to God in the car... like every day. I know I know, I'm weird. But God and I have the best conversations in the car. I don't mean that God audibly speaks to me, I just mean that while I'm driving I can just pour my heart out to God, sometimes it's bargaining, sometimes it's pleading, sometimes it's praising and thanking and then sometimes it's just talking. But at the end I always feel encouraged, I feel like He was actually listening to me. And you know what? He actually was! How amazing is that?? I'm reading this book by Francis Chan that is called "Forgotten God", and it's about "reversing the neglect of the Holy Spirit", and one thing I read today was about how as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, He dwells within us, and is a part of our every day. Again I say, how amazing is that?? Part of the three in one, wants to be a part of us, all we have to do is invite Him in. I grew up going to church, I always knew that I have the Holy Spirit, but I never really thought about what that means. It means that God is always with us, like when I'm in the car singing along to praise music, and pouring out my heart to the lover of my soul. "You are not just a person living your life by human power. The Spirit of God is in you; that is why Jesus said it was better for Him to go and the Spirit to come." God chose us to be His dwelling place, and I think that is something that we tend to take lightly. We don't think about how heavy that really is. Because the reality is that the Spirit is always with us, we don't have to let our difficulties and our pain define our day. We can be encouraged by the fact that where we fail in our human nature, God steps up to the plate and turns our pain into beauty. So when I am sitting in the car, and I am talking to my savior, not only is He listening and loving me, He is dwelling within me. I pray that that this knowledge will inspire me to live a life worthy of that honor. That my life will reflect that love that God so graciously pours into me. I know that I fall short, but my goal is to be a woman after God's own heart.