Journey Day 226

Do you want to know what my deepest fear is right now? I didn't put this fear into words until last night, but I am so afraid of losing myself... of losing the "me" I have become. It took so much heartache and time for me to get to where I am, and I finally discovered... me. When I lost myself, I lost sight of God. And now I know who I am, I'm transformed, and I am content with the way my life is. I've never been very good at balance, so I'm afraid that if I add anyone or anything else into my already full life it will just become a giant mess all over again, and once again I will lose myself in the ruckus. So now, because of this fear I analyze and reanalyze every aspect of my life. Afraid to be hurt, afraid to fail... I seem to be unwilling to take any kind of chance. But is writing a good story all about taking chances? There has to be a way to balance my life now, and the things I want to add in. My goal is to still have my feet firmly planted on the ground, and to have a good head on my shoulders, but to still think with my heart. I want to be logical but still emotionally driven. It's all about learning to balance, and now I have to figure out how to do that! Just another step on my journey and another chapter in my story.