Journey Day 373

The past few weeks I have really been struggling with my weaknesses. My life is Romans 7:7-25, especially verses 15-24. It says, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but is is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do- this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" I know what is right... and yet over and over again I choose to do the wrong thing. No matter how many changes I think God has made in me I seem to continue to make bad decisions and I keep falling flat on my face. I know I am a new creation. But sometimes, quite simply, I feel like the old me. I am really awesome at feeling guilty... in fact I am a pro and Satan feeds off of that and tells me all kinds of lies. "You'll never change. You are a failure, a bad friend and a bad person. This depression your feeling... it defines you and things are never going to get better. Your life is going to be filled with making the same mistakes over and over again." And then in that still small voice I hear, "I delight in you. I will quiet you with my love. I rejoice over you with singing. You will make many mistakes in your life and I will always be there to help you pick up the pieces. I will always be there to love you. My grace is big enough, and strong enough... in fact it is made perfect in your weaknesses. There is nothing you can do to make me stay away from you." Slowly but surely that voice is getting louder and I am getting quieter. And I am beginning to allow myself to bask in the truth that is God's love and grace. I have made and will continue to make more mistakes than I'd like to admit to, but even then God is still God. He is still good and He continues to love me unconditionally. That is a truth I am still having to reconcile myself to... no matter what I do I can't push God away and friends this is a truth I am so so very grateful for.

p.s. you should read Serious Wednesday with Jon Acuff... God is totally using him to encourage and uplift... so go be uplifted : )