Journey Day 345

Lately I have been feeling more discouraged than encouraged. I'm feeling far from God, and just lacking motivation and joy. I feel like I'm in a similar place to when I started this blog, and that is just not ok with me! But you know the crappy part.. well crappier... I am just lacking the motivation to actually get closer to God and spend time with God... I'm legit ashamed to even admit that. I know the only way to get closer to God is to spend time with him, and I do go through periods of time where I devour the bible... but right now I'm in a valley. Not just a plateau, but a valley. I haven't felt this far from God in a while, and I can't help but wonder why. What got me here to begin with? I'm hoping it's just stress related, but I think more likely than not it's China related. There's only 2 more months until I start this crazy journey to another country, and I think that Satan is trying his very best to get to me. I think that sometimes when you're trying to do something for God Satan attacks your weaknesses extra hard. He hones in on what is going to break  you and pushes that button until you 'splode. I don't tell you this to be a debbie downer, I tell you this because I am constantly striving to be real. I don't want to put up a front of a perfect relationship with God when behind the scenes I'm feeling broken and defeated. So friends, what you see (read) is what you get, imperfections and all. And I refuse to let Satan take me down. I know that right now I'm feeling a tad discouraged and broken, but I also know that God is still good, and that even if I feel alone I'm not, and that I'll come out of this spiritual funk closer to God than I was before it started. Even when I feel hopeless about the little things in life, I know that my savior is the great hope giver. 

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning"

-Lamentations 3:22-23