journey day 13

Do you ever get to the point where you have so many thoughts running around your brain that you don't even know what to think? That is where I am at. I am feeling so many things, and thinking so many things, that my brain is on overload! Half the time I'm completely at peace with where I am with my relationship with God, and then half the time my heart is yearning for someone to be with. I want so badly for God to be enough, but sometimes I still miss my ex boyfriend. Little things will remind me of him and it makes my heart hurt. I want so badly to be over him, and to forget about him, but he was my best friend and I loved him. I know that I have to put that on the back burner and seek my contentment in Jesus. There is a song by Relient K that is extremely pertinent to the way Im feeling. It's called "I need you". It describes a yearning for a relationship God, and our deep need for him to save us, and for him to be our security.

"I Need You"

I've dug up miles and miles of sand
Searching for something I can't see
And I've just got bruised and battered hands
And a brand new void inside of me
Complete with walls I did create
From all the earth that I've displaced
A mess that I have made from what
I've just let pile and pile up
I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

Explore the cave that is my chest
A torch reveals there's nothing left
Your whispers echo off the walls
And you can hear my distant calls
The voice of who I used to be
Screaming out "someone, someone please
Please shine a light into the black
Wade through the depths and bring me back

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

When my hopes seem to dangle
Somewhere just beyond my reach
You say you've heard my prayers
And read my words there on the beach

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything I need

An important part of my journey is learning and embracing my need for Jesus, and his saving grace. He's the only thing I want, cause he's everything I need.